The Minimizing Trap

Most of us—especially women in their 20s and 30s—were subconsciously taught to use minimizing language, words that shrink our presence regardless of the value of our message.

We use “just,” “sorry,” and “I think” as linguistic cushions to avoid sounding too “aggressive” or “pushy.”

But minimizing language doesn’t make you more likeable; it only weakens your message.

When you use this language, you are unintentionally asking for permission to literally *exist* in the conversation. It creates an environment where your expertise is dismissed before you even finish your sentence.

Syntax of a Salary Increase

Look at how this impacts a high-stakes conversation, asking for a raise:

• Option 1: “I think I deserve a raise because I get my work done on time for basically every project.”
• Option 2: “I deserve a raise because I deliver on deadlines for each project I manage.”

It’s no secret that option 2 sounds more convincing. It removes any doubt about your worth and confidently shows your value to back up the request.

Now you might be saying, “This makes sense. But how do I actually stop using minimizing language?”

Don’t worry. I’ve got you.

3 Steps for Clear Communication

Concise communication is a skill you have to learn. Command the room with these steps:

1. Be Direct: Switch from conditional language (”I might”) to declarative (”I will”) to show ownership.
2. Remove Fillers: Remove “just,” “maybe,” “sort of,” and “I’m sorry” (when you’re not at fault, of course).
3. Avoid Over-Explaining: Keep messages concise to enhance impact.

Trust me, it will feel uncomfortable at first.

But that discomfort is just your brain unlearning the habit of shrinking yourself, and these small shifts will help you improve leaps and bounds in your confidence, communication, and clarity.

Before and After

Now that we know strategies for clear communication, let’s go back to our example from the beginning.

• Original: “Hey, just checking in to see if you’ve had a chance to review. The deadline is sort of important to our project, and I think this could be a great addition.”
• Improved: “Hey, I’m following up on the review status of this project. The deadline is approaching, and this will be a great addition.”

These quick revisions made our communication sharper and more confident, and this is the core of “Life Literacy.“

We’re learning the languages of modern success to master the tools that determine our success—the words we speak, the money we make, and the tools we use—to build a life where we thrive.

Let’s start writing your best chapter.

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